Vanishing Vapor, and What Remains

Written on June 12th, 2022

Dear Ruth, how grateful I am for all the time we’ve shared together. I don’t know if I already told you this story but this one has ignited my gratefulness for every friends I have today. Here’s how it goes.

It all started from a small talk one evening, on a way home after a good lunch with close friends. “You know, the money I spent today is a money well spent.” said a friend beside me. Some unexpected way to start a conversation, I thought. She continued, “In fact, I don’t feel like spending anything today.” The lunch we had that day was not in any way cheap, for both of us. “So, you suggest we burn some more?” I said. She chuckled, “No! That’s not what I meant. You know last week I spent around the same amount for a dinner with another group? But that amount felt like a big loss. Not because the food is bad or not enough.” She paused. “I don’t feel like I belong there.”

What we actually long for. That sentence intrigues me many time after that. When I look back, I could hardly remember any food we’ve ate together, conversation we’ve shared, or things we’ve done. All of them become vague memories, like a vanishing vapor. What remains is...

Ruth, would any of them still feels as meaningful as it is today if I didn’t enjoy them with you? What do we actually long for? Maybe you had the answer.

How was the coffee I sent you last week? Do you like it? The package you’ve sent me has arrived this morning. It’s a miniature of an old vintage bookstore, it’s so detailed and good! Where did you find it? It fits so well on my showcase. Much thanks, I love it!

Sincerely, yours.